stories etc

"the hurricane"

the latest sexual craze and desire is "the hurricane." it is not something that is given, but it is something that is inflicted. it is not enjoyed, but it is endured. it is painful, yet those faithful fans of the hurricane seem to love it and find it exhiliratingly immaculate.
the hurricane involves the insertion of one's tongue and eight fingers into another one's anus and twiddling all about. at first glances this procedure seems awkward and inhumane, but it is said, by veteran actor richard gere, to be like pringles crisps: "once you pop you can't stop."
so where did the hurricane come from, you ask, oh vile inquisitive freaks? well, long story cut short: once four boys; tadge, alan hallway, jay dub and a.j (the real names were not given for safety reasons and also they are cowards who don't want to get beaten up for being sick little assholes) were discussing a manouvre that tadge had received in one of his recent dreams, in which a magical man who went by the name of "iesu" performed a magic trick on tadge's rectal area. on hearing about this dream, tadge's friends were impressed and decided to make tadge's somewhat disturbing subconscious thoughts into an even more disturbing reality. and so that night the hurricane was inflicted for the first time upon a.j's small son-brother "criff" by tadge and his pet reptiles; as alan hallway, jay dub and a.j watched with glee and echoed laughter through the woods.
weird, i hear you ask? indeed, but do try it, for once you do, you'll never want to do anything else again (or sit down ever again).