Adam / ad-uhm / n. 1 the first
man. 2 of incestuous nature. [Hebrew: = man]
mother / muth-uh / n. 1 female parent. 2 any
female animal in relation to its offspring. [Old English]
incestuous / in-ses-choo-uhs /
adj. of or guilty of sexual intercourse between persons too closely related to marry. [Latin castus chaste]
sick and twisted must this boy’s mind be for him to want to have anything to do with his mother other than the usual
“mother and son” relationship many of us are used to. many of you have been asking questions about adam and it
is now my chance to put some closure to the questions that bring such painful incestuous thoughts to the forefront of my mind:
yes, it is true that there is something revolting going on in adam’s relationship with his mother.
2. no, his mother
is not elderly.
3. yes, we do have proof.
if you are grossed out then at this point, i suggest you leave, or read on
if your disgusting curiosity gets the better of you, which i am sure it will. the following accounts are all true and will
inform you on what my friend tim and i have seen in what we call “the incestuous relationship of adam and tracey.”
while tracey drove us to college one fine summer’s morn, she was caressing adam’s hair as if he was her lover
or husband…not the typical way a mother strokes her son. sure enough, tim and i were confused but let it slip through
the tangled knots of our conscious mind.
2. secondly, while adam and i were talking on the phone about the regular shool-girl
gossip, tracey picked up the phone from the other line and said clearly, “come on, adam. come up to bed.” he said
to me that it was just for a massage (if you have seen the film “pulp fiction” you would know the full sexual
extent of what it is to give a massage), but massage, sex, or whatever it was, it was poison to my ears. from that point onwards
i began to look deeper into the situation.
3. adam and i were watching the television at his house, and tracey wanted him
to do some “chores.” i must admit that i had an inkling as to what these were; another “massage” perhaps.
after being ignored, tracey stood in front of the television and opened her shirt. i turned away in disgust, however adam
stared into the direction of the television still, indeed with a loving glint was to be seen in his eyes.
4. i was at adam’s
house and we were ready to leave for rob’s 18th birthday masquerade ball party, when tracey noticed that adam’s
belt was not around his waist properly. she knelt down and picked at his belt, began to undo it, her head too close for comfort.
this i could not handle and i left the room. it had begun. i was latching onto adam’s dirty secret. at school the following
week, tim and i let adam know how we felt about his immoral upbringing, and suggested he get help.
5. and what sort of
mother calls her eldest son by his initials: “a.j?” only an incestuous mother, quite obviously.
6. tim and
i decided we needed just one more piece of proof, and devised a plan: we were to hide in tracey’s closet secretly and
spy on the incestuous couple to see if our imaginations were true to us. as we hid in the darkness of the closet we heard
adam say the following to his mother: “mummy, the fellows at college are under the gross misconception that you and
i m-m-m-make love.” then came a long pause, a silence. the next thing audible to tim and me was the creaking of bedspreads.
through the slats of the closet door we could see pale patches of naked flesh oscillating up and down, up and down. i composed
myself and was able to suppress my vomiting. tim was not so fortunate, however.
there you have it, the truth about
adam. currently, all is not well for adam. you see, tim placed a brief version of adam’s secret on his website, along
with adam’s personal details (address, phone number etc). a man who was apparently touched by his father when he was
young took offence to this and (quote) “wanted to rid the world of this evil,” and said he would stop at nothing
to do just that. so if adam turns up to school murdered tomorrow, you all must know that he brought in upon himself with his
incestuous actions, and it is by no means the fault of tim or myself.
similar to the greek myth of oedipus, adam may just
kill his father so he can marry his mother, but unlike oedipus, this is no myth. this is reality at it’s lowest point,
and a stop must be put to it. i truly hope that adam gets his “just desserts,” and i mean that in a violent revengeful
way, not the sexually incestuous way that i know some of you will interpret it as, you dirty human beings.